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With lines like, “Imagine you’re licking an ice cream cone and not a fleshy appendage protruding from his body,” “Don’t spoil it when it’s finally almost over” and “Try to resist the urge to give him the death stare that says, ‘If you don’t come soon, I’m going to kill you,’” I gasped in horror as I read. It was that same day Dating approached me asking if I would write an article on how to give a blowjob, and I responded with an enthusiastic YES.