If you are a single woman over 40, you have a love history.

You’ve been in relationships before and you may want one now, but for whatever reason you haven’t found the right person yet.

A plus-size female friend told me she wouldn't accept a blind date with a man because he was fat. She fell deeply in love with him, saying he was the best man who had ever been in her life. Nancy Nichols’s self-help trilogy will dramatically change the way you think about men, dating and relationships, and ultimately yourself: Secrets of the Ultimate Husband Hunter, Never Date a Dead Animal and God, Please Fix Me!

Style section had a sobering little piece about single guys (mostly straight, though two gay men were quoted as well) in their 30s and 40s who are starting to realize that a successful career won’t massage their aching, aging knees and being the last guy to leave the club is not a good look. I found myself getting worked up about this piece despite it being fairly innocuous – it even features the nice story of 40-something guy who decided he wanted to settle down, went outside his comfort zone and ended up meeting a future wife and baby mama that my cynically-motivated Google stalking revealed is actually pretty age-appropriate.

With most of their friends already married, these greying bachelors are torn up about the future. All his friends have significant others and children, so there’s no one to go out and get drunk with. But the sense of life is to have kids and try to give them as much as you know. I believe the day you go somewhere where you aren’t supposed to be, you end up falling in love and having babies. It’s not that I completely lack empathy for single men in my age range who are only now starting to crave deeper bonds; I just find it frustrating that the guys interviewed, not to mention guys I know, seem to think being emotionally available is a laborious buzzkill.

Definitely, I’m not giving up.” Ahh yes, a single man who is used to doing and getting what he wants, bravely refusing to give up hope that is in store. It doesn’t help that trend pieces like this one talk about “meaningful” relationships and experiences as if they are things you acquire once the keg is tapped and you’ve gotten bored of playing with all the shiny objects in the room.

I realized there are two top reasons mature women are unable attract and hold the sincere interest of quality men. A closed-minded woman automatically rejects a man on superficial information.

You have to go out, spend a whole evening and lots of money, asking a total stranger questions like “And have you got any brothers and sisters? Nope, sadly, it’s not a passport to a George Clooney-alike every night of the week, darn it. Your problem is, you need to learn to compromise Very possibly (I have been known to dismiss a man based on the width of his shoulders after all, but that was in my 20s.) However, I can’t help wondering whether you felt you were compromising when you walked down the aisle; whether you thought you were settling when you hooked up with your now husband in a drunken pash-up at Freshers Week? The idea that I have to settle is frankly just too depressing. Oh please tell us some really horrific dating stories! As long as it’s not followed by “he’s no oil painting, possibly ‘on the spectrum’ and been single for ten years, but he’s a really nice guy…” Before you offer out your single friends, ask yourself, would I go on a date with him? If the answer’s a resounding ‘no’, chances are I won’t want to either. Our slim waistlines have been replaced with doughnuts.Don't even think about wearing short-shorts in the summer. The men I wanted to date never asked me out, or if I went out with a great guy, I never heard from him again. High expectations (code for: unreasonable and unattainable)Woman are infamous for "The List," a column of checkmark boxes that characterize the traits and attributes that must characterize the man they will date or marry. There's no other way to say it: Dating sucks when you’re in your 40s, 50s and, God forbid, in your 60s.Our bosoms sag to our ribcage and our fannies droop.I knew I needed to tackle head-on why the fear of rejection was almost more frightening than rejection itself.Gradually, I began to trust it might be OK if he saw me with all my raw, clumsy, messy secrets.